Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Harry, Cedric, Voldemort, and a godawful Mary Sue :D
Prompt: for a Suefic contest at hogwarts_elite, in which we were asked to rewrite any scene from the series with the inclusion of a Mary Sue/Gary Stu. I have the dubious honor of winning first place with this atrocity! I think it was my inclusion of meme references/house stereotypes... or maybe I've missed my calling as a Sue writer!
Word Count: 1134
Author's Notes: Crack!fic, definitely. You may need brain bleach should you wish to read this. Really I'm just posting it because I haven't posted anything here in ages. And I never get to use my Santa!Lucius icon (sorry, Lucius does not appear in the story, I'm sure he's very glad about that). MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
Cedric and Harry stood before the Triwizard Cup, their hands hovering over the handles, ready to grasp them and win the Triwizard tournament together on the count of three. "One -- two --"
What happened next was a blur. As he grasped a handle, Harry heard Cedric cry out in surprise... and then out of the corner of his eye he saw a distinctly female hand holding on to the other handle... Harry remembered thinking it was the most beautiful hand he'd seen in his whole life... then he was lost in a wind that spun him through space in that same weird way that the boot had when he'd gone to the Quidditch World Cup: this cup was a Portkey!
Harry hit the ground with a thud and immediately looked around for his new companion. He wanted to find out who she was, where she'd come from, how in the hell she'd gotten through that maze... but when he saw her, he was struck speechless by her beauty. Maybe it was the way the moonlight caressed her hair -- long, ebony tresses that Harry had an inexplicable urge to run his hands through -- or the way her skin seemed to shimmer invitingly. He wondered what color her eyes were.
The girl began to stir, and he offered her his hand. The hand that took his was unusually soft and delicate -- and it sent rivers of excitement coursing through Harry. He'd never felt anything like it before (he'd have to remember this feeling the next time he cast a patronus!). As soon as she was on her feet, Harry abruptly dropped her hand, embarrassed at his reaction to her presence. "Thanks," she said as she brushed herself off, drawing Harry's gaze over her perfect body. She definitely had curves in all the right places... "You're probably wondering who I am. My name is Ravyn, and I'm here to save you."
"Voldemort's going to return unless I stop him!"
"You said his name..." Harry had encountered few people in the wizarding world who could say his name as boldly and bravely as Ravyn had. Could he dare hope... "Are you in Gryffindor?" he blurted out.
"When you've been through all that I have, it takes more than a name to scare you," she said wryly. "And I don't know what house I'm going to be in. I... well, I'll fill you in some time, let's just say I'm a transfer student and leave it at that. This girl named Pansy really wants me in Slytherin, though..."
Before Harry could unleash his capslocked tirade against Slytherin, a hooded figure emerged from the shadows, carrying a baby or something.
"Kill the spare."
His mind hadn't quite sorted out what that meant, exactly, but clearly the word "kill" meant there was imminent danger and his only thought now was protecting the girl that he loved. How he could love someone after knowing her all of five minutes, Harry did not know, he just knew that he did, with all his heart (maybe it was a Gryffindor thing). He whipped out his wand and aimed it at the figure -- alas, it was too late!
There was a blinding flash of green light, and all of the hopes and dreams for the future that had just been born in Harry's mind died as Ravyn's body crumpled to the ground. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
His scar burned with what he knew was unbearable pain, and yet it was nothing compared to the pain of losing Ravyn. He sank to his knees in despair, and then...
All went black.
Well... black aside from a few weird-ass dreams, which Harry wasn't quite sure what to make of.
When he woke, he was lying next to the cup at the edge of the maze, and Ravyn was sitting beside him, beaming down at him. Now he could see that her eyes were purple -- amethyst, to be exact.
Harry wondered if he was dead.
"No, you're not dead, and you're not dreaming." Could she read his mind?! "No one can see us, thanks to my invisibility charm. I wanted to make sure you were all right before we went back out there."
Harry's heart was singing that he'd never felt this wonderful EVER now that she was alive and well, but once again he lacked words. Luckily for him, Ravyn didn't seem to need words to understand him.
"I'm sure you're wondering how I survived the killing curse. I don't know how to explain that part. I just sort of... got up and started kicking ass. All these Death Eaters came and I just... killed them. I guess they were all shocked as hell that I lived so it was really easy?"
Harry found his voice. "You're too modest, I'm sure you were brilliant! And... Voldemort? You said he was coming back?"
Ravyn winced. "That's kind of a long story. He won't be bothering us any time soon. And I'm pretty sure it's me he wants now, not you... and I'm afraid he wants me in more ways than one."
Harry sat up at once. "What?! No! I'll never let him near you!"
She had the gentle smile of an angel as she leaned forward to brush her lips across his, and Harry's anger melted away. She stood up, and this time it was Ravyn offering Harry her hand to help him to his feet. "Come on, everyone's waiting for you. Ready?"
Harry nodded. His head was spinning from that sweet kiss and there was so much more he wanted to ask her, but they had the rest of their lives for that. Ravyn counteracted the invisibility charm, and the roar of the crowd was suddenly deafening. Harry could see they were about to be swarmed. The first person to reach his side was Cedric -- Cedric! -- and Harry hurled himself into his arms. "You're alive!"
"Of course I am," Cedric said, laughing happily. "Why wouldn't I be? It's you that disappeared! You and that extraordinarily pretty girl..."
Harry stepped back, laughing with him. "Oh! Right! Right, but I had this dream... it was so real! You got killed here tonight, but then you became a vampire. And not just a regular vampire -- you glittered in the sunlight!"
"I glittered?" Cedric snorted. "You've been reading too much rubbish about Hufflepuff. Next thing you know you'll be dreaming that I'm lactose-intolerant!"
THE END...or is it really?