Characters: Anakin, and a mystery narrator - but the only people who currently read this journal will know who it is right away so... yeah, not really a mystery.
Word Count: 303
Prompt: #86 - Choices.
Warnings: Implied slash
Notes: AU. And I hate the third sentence but can't seem to fix it. I give up and am posting this anyway!
The boy’s body had long been in his possession, and his affections, nearly as long. His heart, however, was another matter. It wasn’t that Anakin didn’t love him; rather, his love was not and could never be exclusive. This fact gnawed at him daily. He dwelled on it morosely when he should have been content with the joy he’d found. His thoughts wandered back to it when he should have been focused on more important tasks. He couldn’t seem to help it – he was hopelessly, obsessively, and quite unhealthily in love.
His original life plan did not allow for love. The modified version of the plan accepted it, but twisted it to his own advantage.
He could no longer operate under either of these plans.
His sole purpose in life had been reduced to pleasing Anakin. He could fantasize about killing the boy’s other lovers, but he couldn’t act on these desires. No, that would rip away a piece of Anakin’s precious heart, leaving a gaping hole that would change him... consume him… destroy him. And for all the pain it caused him to share his beloved Anakin with others, it was a mere drop in the bucket of pain that awaited him lest he hurt the boy that way.
Their love was pure, untainted by anger and mistrust. It made him forget the essence of who he was, who he was supposed to be. No wonder love was not in the master plan; one thing negated the other.
But if there was a choice to be made, he was powerless to make it. He had never known love before, and to both his delight and dismay, he found he had no control over it. His careful planning had been designed to earn him the young man’s soul; instead, Anakin now owned his.