Lumy (luminations) wrote,
Lumy
luminations

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The Opportunist

Title: The Opportunist
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Anakin/Palpatine
Prompt: fanfic50's #45 Undercover
Word Count: 505
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Anakin and Palpatine discuss going out on a date in disguise (to fool the paparazzi!).
Author's Notes: This is a bit fluffy, and definitely silly. The whole thing is written as dialogue. Just wanted to do something different -- and yeah, okay, it's pretty dumb :)



“Why do I have to be the woman?”

“Because you’re far prettier than I am, Anakin.”

“But you’re far shorter!”

“Bah -- there are plenty of tall women. Besides, I’m old. A simple disguise won’t hide that.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“A rich old man with a pretty young girl is hardly a rarity.”

“You want me to be a gold digger?”

“I think it would work well, don’t you?”

“But that’s disgusting!”

“It’s just a charade.”

“I know, but…”

“But what? No one would even realize it’s you. Or me. That’s the whole point.”

“…I guess… would I have to wear high heels?”

“No, women can wear flat shoes as well, you know.”

“And pantyhose?”

“Not if you don’t want to. You could wear a nice pantsuit, perhaps.”

“And a bra?”

“Yes, we’d have to give you some cleavage.”

“AAARGGHHH!”

“Now now, you’ll look lovely.”

“No one will believe I’m a woman.”

“Perhaps from afar they will. Just don’t speak.”

“Ha ha – well, I wouldn’t want to mess up my lipstick, would I!”

“From talking? I don’t think you have to worry about that…but I’m sure I’ll want to kiss you.”

“You can’t -- then I’d have to redo my lipstick.”

“Oh, Anakin, how vain you are!”

“And no mussing my hairdo, either! Heehee!”

“May I at least hold your hand?”

“Hmmm – all right, as long as you don’t mess up my nails.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Can I grab your ass too?”

“No! You can’t do anything to get me excited if I’m wearing pants. No groping!”

“Perhaps you should wear a dress, then. Something that billows.”

“But no pantyhose!”

“Then I suggest you shave your legs.”

“No fucking way!”

“I could shave them for you. You might find it erotic…”

“No! Just… no!”

“Then trousers it is.”

“I could wear my Jedi pants. They’re loose.”

“They’re not very feminine. And they don’t show off your ass nearly enough.”

“Ha ha -- I can’t show off my ass if I’m trying to hide my cock!”

“A valid point. Still, no Jedi garb – this should be a disguise, not something you wear every day! How about a dress over some sort of leggings? That way you wouldn’t have to shave or wear hose.”

“That doesn’t sound very dressy. I thought you were gonna take me somewhere fancy!”

“If you keep whining I might not take you anywhere at all. Ha!”

“That’s not fair! You’re not the one who has to dress up like a whore.”

“Not a whore, sweetheart – an opportunist.”

“…A whore.”

“If you insist.”

“Will you be my pimp?”

“Absolutely not -- I don’t intend to hand you over to anyone else for the night! You’re all mine.”

“Aww, that’s kinda sweet.”

“It’s possessive.”

“Yeah… it’s hot, though. Oh hey… what’re you... mmmm.”

“You like that, don’t you.”

“Feels nice…”

“Why don’t we forget about going anywhere today? Except to the bedroom.”

“Ohhh… whatever you say…”

“Really? Whatever I say?”

“Mmmhmmmmmmm…”

“Oh, Anakin, how easy you are.”


Tags: anakin, fic, palpatine, star wars
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